Thursday, March 22, 2007
Things are'nt really going very well for me lately. I'm on a verge of a major breakdown. Infact, i've cried several times alone, at the very corner of my room. And this is the time where i need him the most. And when i'm facing my darkest times of my life, he denied me. Hah.
I swore that night to not cry ever again. And that it'll only be happy posts from then on. I guess i no longer know how to be strong. Yeaa i sound like a weak shit. I seriously can't get my fat ass to move on... Everywhere i go, there'll be an essence of him and tons of huge gushes of memories that i can't avoid. At this point i guess friends are'nt of much help. I used to think that with friends around, there's no need of a him. Major mistake. Now i can't make do without him. Hah. Ironic is it, that how i was the one who ended everything in the first place and now crawling on me palms and knees with my heavily bruised ego down at my feet.
He said forever. Exactly how long is forever? A hundred years? A thousand? Or only till the day we both go on our seperate ways. Somehow i don't believe in love anymore. Neither in forever. It's nothing more than a facade. I'm really heavily broken. There's nothing left inside to spare.
Hell yeaa i tried to move on. Fuck and stop asking me to be strong, move along and say that i can get a better guy. I've totally given up in starting it all over again. I've been in one for too long to start over with another. And besides him, i have no freaking interest in other them guys. Weird is'nt it. Hah. Yeaa mock me. I don't really care. I just want my baby back.
And if it happens, i swear it'll be 'till eternity.
Labels: can't take it no more.