Thursday, January 11, 2007
its been the second day and im missing him badly..trying to smile and act happy for the whole day really is tirering..only back at home or when im around does my emotions start to take over..sleepless nights, swollen eyes..damn it. why is it so hard..im already trying my best not to think about our past, our happy memories, our sweetness. all the bad sides jus faded away..but yet i know we wont work out for sure and we're not for one another..good thing i hav my friends to stop me from thinking bout him for awhile..but still, memories still rushes back when im alone. this feeling sucks. i think i really need an eyecandy.. to help me stop thinking about him and regretting the breakup..i really hope he's doing fine. but yet on the other hand i dont want him to stop loving me..i jus cant bear to see other girls holding what used to be mine who loved me so dearly. i dont want the feeling of being replaced. i still love him. a hell lot. but...we both know tt we wont last due to our big difference in character and thinking. i really hate this feeling of being stuck in between of facing reality and following my heart. i really feel like seeing him now. its been lik a habit msging and calling and saying good mornings and good nights. but now everything has changed drastically. sometimes i would forget and take out my fone to msg him. until i realised i cnt do tt now...nobody would know how shitty this feels. sometimes, i kinda regret knowing him in the first place. if not all these late nights and swollen eyes wont happen. AARRGH! CHERYL YOU'RE SUCH A LOSER..damn it.