Saturday, December 09, 2006
Saturday, December09
its just been a day and i feel so lost...i realised i cnt do without him..i suddendly felt tt everything just doesnt matter anymore...i dont think i can take it anymore...this feeling is so different from before..i dont think im ready for this brkup.but who am i to ask him to come back to me when im the one who left him in the first place?i nv felt so down and uner before....i really want him back.really.but im still afraid that history might repeat itself again...i dn wana hurt him another time.i dont want any quarrels.i dont want any cold wars...i just want us to be as sweet as this afternoon where we hugged and kissed our last goodbyes....he was so sweet and i jus cnt help wondering y this didnt happen when we're together....we both know that we dont suit each other...but..i love him too much to let him go and bother bout our differences....i wana promise i will change...but i hav no confidence in my promises.i want him to be happy.i want US to be happy..why is this so hard....before this i kept thinking tt soon another guy wld come along and i wld forget bout everything but the more i thought the more i was sure no one wld love me as much as he does.....my eyes are so swollen now that i cnt even open them.....i really need his right shoulder now.....friends may say im so foolish to giv up my freedom and all.....i just need him.i hate myself..
signedsealed.10:23 PM
